In the movies that we love and stand the test of time, often any objects featured in these stories can be as iconic as the movies and characters themselves. This got me wondering - which objects are the best and since this is opinion based that means everything you are about to read will be considered stupid and wrong. You can’t win ‘em all. I know full well I missed many. I could probably rearrange this list a thousand different ways justifying each and every one of them. But I made this list you see now and when I finished putting everything where I felt best, I was content with how it ended up. Please. Read. Discuss. Get angry and tell me how it should go. Just do it in the comments. Thanks.
10. Briefcase - Pulp Fiction
On the short list of directors that owned the 90s, Quentin Tarantino is unquestionably right next to Steven Spielberg and Michael Mann. In Reservoir Dogs it was the coveted diamonds taken during a botched heist. In Pulp Fiction it is one of the greatest MacGuffins in cinema history, Marsellus Wallace’s briefcase (Does he look like a bitch?!). The mystery of its contents remains to this day. Some say it’s Wallace’s literal soul, hence the glowing. The contents however do not matter as it is more about the assumed repercussions of not returning it to its rightful owner. It is the motivation that propels hitmen Jules and Vincent on a journey of brutal violence and oddly enough redemption.
9. Golden Ticket - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
Without the ticket, Charlie Bucket does not go to the chocolate factory. He does not try the fizzy lifting drink. He does not get to prove his true character to Wonka by returning the Everlasting Gobstopper. Charlie’s family would remain poor. And the very fate of the chocolate factory would remain in limbo. But quite possibly most importantly, if Charlie doesn’t find the final gold ticket, we don’t discover the depths of Grandpa Joe’s lies and how he manipulates his family. We see you, Joe. Lazy bastard.
8. Leg Lamp - A Christmas Story
It’s a major award! The Old Man won it in a contest. Who could have ever guessed it would be the most glorious lamp made of the finest Italian materials. In the shape of a woman’s leg wearing a fishnet stocking no less! This is perhaps the most tragic of anything on this list as it survives only as long as the jealous housewife allows it before she absolutely broke it while cleaning. She denies and pretends of course but we all know the truth. Betrayal! It was the soft glow of electric sex that she couldn’t stand. At least it received the burial it deserved. R.I.P.
7. Mjolnir - MCU
An object of such influence that carries over throughout more than a decade of storytelling is undeniably one of the most impactful. Not only is Mjolnir, Thor’s hammer, a great weapon of epic capabilities, it is the quintessential truth teller. “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.” This would of course culminate in one of the most iconic scenes in cinema of the last twenty years as Captain America lifts the hammer, proving once and for all, he is worthy. Chills. So far it is arguably the peak of the MCU.
6. Talkboy - Home Alone 2
The Talkboy not only solidified the sequel in our memories forever, but as kids we had to have The Talkboy under our Christmas trees. We didn’t want any lip from the parents either. It was the Talkboy or nothing. Unfortunately they didn’t anticipate its massive popularity making finding it at any retailer a greater impossibility than winning the Powerball. Not only this but it proved without question that Kevin McCallister knew how to live. In the back of a white limousine eating a large cheese pizza all to himself. As a ten year-old, there was nothing better. We assumed anyway. And with a Talkboy in our hands, just imagine the hijinks!
5. Wilson (volleyball) - Cast Away
When stranded on a deserted island, a companion is essential to survival. Luckily Chuck found (made) Wilson, his trusty volleyball confidant. Together they navigate an island to find sustenance and a hopeful solution to the whole being stranded thing. After four years together, growing and not shaving, they depart their safe haven for open waters. Much like the lamp of sexual freedom, Wilson had but one fate and for Chuck, it was one of the great tragedies of his life. And he probably couldn’t tell a soul for fear of being called insane. Judge much?
4. Fedora - Indiana Jones
The very silhouette of Indiana Jones placing the hat on his head is iconic and you can’t even actually see it yet. The hat, the fedora for explorers and archeologists, became a symbol of triumph. You knew when Indy picked up his hat, dusted himself off and put it on, the bad guys were screwed. It was also a symbol for the everyman who wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. To fight the good fight and for Indy, he just preferred to do it in style.
3. Lightsaber - Star Wars
The debate of whose lightsaber is most important or famous or popular is something that will likely carry on for the rest of time. But the lightsaber, all lightsabers as a collective one, is synonymous with the very genre of science fiction itself. In a galaxy filled with lasers and spaceships most would choose the lightsaber to become a reality. That’s saying something. Of course a real lightsaber would be ruined because as a species, we ruin everything. But the thought of holding one and hearing that unmistakable whoosh as it slices through the air… euphoric.
2. Delorean - Back to the Future
With the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, it is the motivation. It is the reason they act and do what they do. In Back to the Future, it is the Delorean that forces their hand to correct the mistakes of both past, present and future. Rather than pursue it, it’s almost like the Delorean itself is thrust upon them as if a challenge from the universe trying to test their mettle. And their willingness to acknowledge their mistakes. As humans, that can be a difficult thing to do. Not to mention, it travels in time with such style, how can it not be on this list? “When this baby hits 88 mph, you’re gonna see some serious shit.” Amen, Doc. Amen.
1. The One Ring -The Lord of the Rings
“One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.” It oozes with prophecy and warning. It alludes to a time when evil shall by almost any measure, spread unchecked. It will unexpectedly take the courage of nine to help carry the burden of one as he makes his way to the literal pit of hell, Mt. Doom, in hopes of destroying the source of evil that allows Sauron to carry on. The One Ring in a noble being’s hands can lead to a world of peace. In a weaker man’s hands, all may be lost.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
14. Steyr Pfläger Katsumata Series-D Blaster (PKD) - Blade Runner
I’ll be honest, this one I only included because I love Blade Runner and its amazing sequel. The blaster is just badass. That’s all the justification I’ll give at this time. Jimmy, if you read this, shut it. Blade Runner is awesome.
13. Red Balloon - IT
I think it is the juxtaposition of something normally reserved for celebration becoming a symbol of impending terror and a bizarre death. It means the clown is near and that’s not good for anybody.
12. BOTD - Evil Dead
The Book of the Dead. The Necronomicon Ex-Mortis is the menu of hell. It is a cookbook for seriously diabolical shit. It just so happens to be made of human skin and written in human blood. Talk about a collector’s item huh. Am I right?! For the voracious reader in your life, keep them the fuck away!
11. Otto - Airplane!
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Otto is the one that started this whole thing. This list I mean. Not… life itself. I was on IMDb doing a little research on the hilarious comedy, Airplane! It was there that I discovered that Otto, the inflatable co-pilot, has its (his) own IMDb page. This led me to discover that Wilson the volleyball also has its (his?) own page as well. And from there I wondered what other inanimate objects had their own profile on IMDb.
While it was a bit scarce, it did lead me to thinking about the best props in cinema. It didn’t necessarily have to include objects that have suddenly been anthropomorphized. And here we are. As for Otto himself, he helped save an entire plane full of innocent passengers. He’s a hero. He had to at least be mentioned for his actions. Though it has been reported that Otto perished in the garage of Jerry Zucker. Disintegrated is the word they used. We remember you, Otto. Thank you.
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