“Of all creatures that breathe and move upon the earth, nothing is bred that is weaker than man.” – Homer I’ve written about this before, but anticipation and reality rarely ever live up to our expectations. 2024’s Joker: Folie à Deux was highly anticipated and wound up a meandering mess of a musical whose predecessor somehow produced an Oscar-winning performance by its lead. The Mandalorian and Grogu felt like an overlong episode of the series, doing little to differentiate

“If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.” – Roger Alan Wade Fun Fact: A comprehensive study conducted by Nova Legal Funding tracked the documented, major medical trauma suffered by the core cast. The crew has racked up over $24 million in lifetime medical bills as a result of their many stunts and antics. The Lifetime Injury Breakdown of the core cast: Most severe trauma Johnny Knoxville 16 Verified Concussions: Culminating in a severe brain hemorrhage and cognitive dam

“I look at you and I see the final triumph of stupidity in the world!” – Lorraine Hansberry You ever see something and wonder, “How? How did this get made? Why did it get made?” I give you Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. What’s even weirder is that it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It’s a fair series of questions but to deny its effectiveness is being willfully obstinate. Make no mistake, this movie is DUUUUUUUUUUMB, with a capital sTUPID. But god dammit if it isn’

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” – Herman Melville In a period of ten years we have the animated feature Moana, its sequel, and now the live-action rehash that no one asked for. The animated original is a seminal piece of Disney animation that not only provides entertainment but cultural introduction and understanding. It is gorgeously animated with unbelievable vibrancy and perhaps most importantly, a sense of originality and uncharted cult

“Bello!Tulaliloo ti am. Me want banana. Poopaye!” - a minion In 2010, for better or worse, the little yellow bastards known as minions made their debut in Despicable Me. Much like Mater was a secondary character in Cars, the minions were rightfully not the center of attention. Then Cars 2 happened and everyone realized Mater was best in small doses. The same can be said for these little yellow creatures that speak gibberish and operate with the mentality of the Three Stooges.

“If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans.” – Stephen Hawking Steven Spielberg will be eighty years old in December. It leaves a lump in the throat to think of what little time we have left to experience new Spielberg. He is as synonymous with cinema as the very cameras capturing the imagery he has ingrained in our collective memory. He is basically his very own genre. There’s somethi

MAY 2026 One of the best things about being nerdy about something (passionate) is the hope of sharing it with others. Since my own family is sick of hearing about the endlessness of my collections which include but are not limited to: physical movie collection, pop culture art prints, popcorn buckets, Batmobiles in both Lego and Hot Wheels, I’ve decided to dump all this worthless (but still cool? Maybe?) rigamarole onto an unsuspecting internet. That’s you, dear reader! Anywa

“The only thing more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose is a franchise that refuses to let anyone die.” – Anonymous In my review of the 2021 reboot, I found myself largely indifferent to the cinematic resurrection of this arcade legend. For the sake of complete transparency, I didn’t care for the first film—it felt like a hesitant preamble to a tournament that never arrived. It was a movie that existed in a state of "perpetual potential," promising that the real fun wa

"When you look at the dark side, careful you must be. For the dark side looks back." - Yoda Few things in pop culture or in general really have the staying power that Star Wars has. Since its debut, Star Wars has achieved a state of cultural permanence, transcending the lifecycle of a typical media franchise to become a foundational modern myth. What began in 1977 as George Lucas’s simple desire to create a "space opera" has since taken on a life of its own. It has evolved wi

“Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding.” – Chinese Proverb In I Swear, director Kirk Jones doesn’t just ask us to look at John Davidson; he demands we look at ourselves through the lens of John’s involuntary outbursts. It is a film that functions as a high-velocity moral mirror, reflecting the thin veneer of "civilized" society back at the audience. It captures the essence of a man trapped in a body that refuses to follow the

"The dark side. Always it speaks to us, from our pain. Our grief. It connects our pain to all pain, our hurt to all hurt." - Yoda Few things in pop culture or in general really have the staying power that Star Wars has. Since its debut, Star Wars has achieved a state of cultural permanence, transcending the lifecycle of a typical media franchise to become a foundational modern myth. What began in 1977 as George Lucas’s simple desire to create a "space opera" has since taken o

"A star can never die. It just turns into a smile and melts back into the cosmic music, the dance of life." - Michael Jackson The Messiah and the Man: A Masterclass in Narrative Sleight of Hand Genre conventions are inevitable in certain stories. Sports films with the mandatory training montages, the “gearing up” sequence when an ordinary citizen becomes a well-equipped warrior. The plan walkthrough in heist thrillers when the leader lays out the plan showing us how it will

"The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural." - Supreme Chancellor Palpatine Few things in pop culture or in general really have the staying power that Star Wars has. Since its debut, Star Wars has achieved a state of cultural permanence, transcending the lifecycle of a typical media franchise to become a foundational modern myth. What began in 1977 as George Lucas’s simple desire to create a "space opera" has since taken on a life

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." - Yoda Few things in pop culture or in general really have the staying power that Star Wars has. Since its debut, Star Wars has achieved a state of cultural permanence, transcending the lifecycle of a typical media franchise to become a foundational modern myth. What began in 1977 as George Lucas’s simple desire to create a "space opera" has since taken on a life of its own

"You know those nature shows where a wasp paralyzes a caterpillar, then injects it full of larvae? I sat in a cubicle every day envying that caterpillar, 'cause at least he got to be on TV." - Hal There are certain shows and movies that define who we are as people. The first movie I ever saw in a theater was Jurassic Park in 1993. I believed dinosaurs were alive. It was magic. At home I was nurturing what would become my love for horror movies with Nickelodeon's Are You Afrai

"Drink your milk. But it's lumpy. Then chew it!" - Lois There are certain shows and movies that define who we are as people. The first movie I ever saw in a theater was Jurassic Park in 1993. I believed dinosaurs were alive. It was magic. At home I was nurturing what would become my love for horror movies with Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid of the Dark? I was in love with Batman: The Animated Series. Rugrats was one of my favorite cartoons of all-time. Looney Tunes, Catdog, Kab

"You want to know the best part about childhood? At some point, it stops." - Malcolm There are certain shows and movies that define who we are as people. The first movie I ever saw in a theater was Jurassic Park in 1993. I believed dinosaurs were alive. It was magic. At home I was nurturing what would become my love for horror movies with Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid of the Dark? I was in love with Batman: The Animated Series. Rugrats was one of my favorite cartoons of all-t

"If I want to be humiliated, I can take a math test." - Reese There are certain shows and movies that define who we are as people. The first movie I ever saw in a theater was Jurassic Park in 1993. I believed dinosaurs were alive. It was magic. At home I was nurturing what would become my love for horror movies with Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid of the Dark? I was in love with Batman: The Animated Series. Rugrats was one of my favorite cartoons of all-time. Looney Tunes, Catd

"If you only knew the power of the dark side." - Darth Vader Few things in pop culture or in general really have the staying power that Star Wars has. Since its debut, Star Wars has achieved a state of cultural permanence, transcending the lifecycle of a typical media franchise to become a foundational modern myth. What began in 1977 as George Lucas’s simple desire to create a "space opera" has since taken on a life of its own. It has evolved with an organic momentum that tr

“Wahoo!” – Mario It’s hard to not see movies like this as anything more than cash grabs. I understand after making over a billion dollars that sequels were inevitable but if I’ve learned anything from the majority of Pixar films, Dreamworks Animation like The Wild Robot and Sony Picture Animations like The Mitchells vs. The Machines (favorite animated movie) it’s that these animation studios are fully capable of making stories fit for the entire family. It used to be wide