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The Best Movie Remakes - RANKED (Part 1)

Let's be honest, most of the time remakes are bad news. They usually come half baked, devoid of a soul or heart any kind of life retaining organs. They are lifeless shells. Money grabs for studio execs to pad their bottom lines so they can exclaim what a great year they had. But sometimes, the planets align, the stars burn brighter, lightning strikes a bottle and a remake comes along and surpasses every aspect of its predecessor. Remember, rare is not never and these 21 reimagined films are proof of it. Let's celebrate when things just work out with this silly little list of mine.


This is Part 1 of 2.

21 - 11.

Martin Scorsese. Robert De Niro. It practically guarantees a classic thriller. De Niro is unhinged as a contradictory, religious zealot rapist. Nothing like Christian love am I right? (Sorry, that was a dig, won’t happen again.) Max Cady (De Niro) is singularly motivated by vengeance. After sitting in prison for fourteen years, his time for retribution (as he sees it) is at hand. And in his hands is a bible and set of beliefs used to distort and justify his evil deeds that he will inevitably inflict upon the Bowden family. It’s a thriller, a re-creation itself, still inspiring the future examples of cinematic mad men. 


(Scorsese is executive producing a Cape Fear series for Apple set to premiere in 2026 starring Javier Bardem as the psychopathic Max Cady. If there’s anyone that can slip into the shoes of a crazed mad man it’s Anton Chigurh.)   


I think it’s a safe bet when the best filmmakers take on a remake project it’s going to be a unique interpretation certainly but more than anything it’ll be as good if not better than the original. No offense to The Duke, but The Dude is my Rooster Cogburn. And perhaps most unexpectedly, one of the best performances in a movie that includes Matt Damon, Josh Brolin and of Jeff Bridges himself, it’s the debut and Oscar nominated performance of Hailee Steinfeld as the tenacious Mattie Ross that absolutely steals the movie as its vengeful, beating heart. At the helm is the Coen Brothers. Need I say more? 


One of his most contained thrillers, Christopher Nolan directs another cerebral mind melter that focuses on an unreliable narrator who just so happens to be suffering from… insomnia. Al Pacino is tired, he’s the good guy and he’s guilty. All the while he must chase down a killer who thinks he’s untouchable because of the things he knows about the newly acquainted, sleep deprived, homicide detective, persistent but distracted in his pursuit. The solution to Det. Dormer’s problems might cost him everything but in return he might gain his freedom as it slowly slips away at the hands of a killer and a young, determined police officer just trying to find who she is as a cop. Anytime Robin Williams plays a serious character it’s often a fascinating experience and his turn as a murderer is discomforting on the brightest of days, never mind when the sun might actually set and the darkness transforms from internal turmoil to a quite literal absence of light.  


Now I’m not going to be so bold as to say this is better than the original George A. Romero classic but I will say it’s hands down the best effort of Zack Snyder with the only exception being 300. It’s a toss up for me between those two. Watchmen is decent too but it suffers from the usual symptoms of Snyder-itis. With Dawn, it would seem he was still early enough in his career when he was wisely reigned in from time to time. Later on his films feel like rudderless vessels concerned about the beauty and rarely the substance beneath it. Dawn has a visceral, dirty quality to it. It feels bruised, faded at the edges and always violently insatiable. There’s a griminess to it that fits so perfectly with pessimistic characters in a no-win situation. And the zombies run which is scarier, it just is. 


“All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one.” Words to live by. This is one of the most quotable movies in cinema. It’s Al Pacino with a Cuban accent killing and snorting mountains of cocaine because as he sees it, he’s entitled to it all. He’s always a hair’s trigger away from losing his mind and those are just his strengths. It is a perverted vantage point of the American dream but maybe more depressingly so, it’s a more accurate and honest glimpse than whatever came with the white picket fence and the nuclear family imagery that was so desperately shoved down our throats. 


A recurring problem with a lot of remakes is a serious lack of bravery (balls) or willingness to really take their premises and make them as impactful as their original counterparts. I don’t see that issue with this version of the 1973 Romero original. In fact I would argue the remake is the superior of the two. It starts pretty much right away and simmers but always makes itself known. Before long it’s boiling over and this rural Iowa farming town is overrun by government oversight gone horribly awry. Better than simple zombies, these ugly, sadistic bastards are mad but alert and articulate. Less instinctual hunger, more mass shooter with a serious fever and serious anger issues. And who can forget the pitchfork scene? It’s good ol’ fashioned apocalypse-threatened terror sans neighborly get togethers over coffee. No, these neighbors will likely burn you alive before they waste clean dishware on someone like you. 


On a list of movies that have left me keeled over with belly aching laughter, Rat Race is absolutely on that list. It is so absurdly funny, endlessly clever with incredibly unrealistic physical gags that force you to watch with utter confusion, a bit of nausea in some cases, and inescapable tears streaming down your face simply from laughing like a true idiot. The side bets with the billionaires. The heart transplant, the I Love Lucy bus ride, the “Yahtzee” museum and the unlikeliest of winners, a narcoleptic foreigner with enough optimism for ten people. I think perhaps its greatest strength is that every character is infinitely funny, never leaving you bored hoping “this character” or “that character” is almost done so we can get back to the really funny characters. They all shine with comedic brilliance. It’s American capitalism at its most hilarious and unchecked. If there is any kind of movie that they genuinely don’t make anymore, it’s movies like Rat Race. 


From one of my favorite working directors, James Mangold helms one of the best westerns of the last thirty years. Christian Bale is perfectly downtrodden but in the face of adversity, he’s the honest gun in the room. And when that room holds the likes of Russell Crowe as the despicable, opportunistic gunslinger, thief and murderer, Ben Wade himself, you need a gun aimed true north. Its story is cliche, but it’s the action and cast that takes something so familiar and elevates everything about it. It is a thrilling, violent western that completely delivers which is rare form these days in the genre. Ben Foster is particularly vile, savage and unforgiving as Wade’s lead henchman, Charlie Prince. He’s thrillingly dangerous and watching him spread his influence is soulless but undeniable.  


13. Dredd

In a sea of terrible, “how the hell did this get a sequel” sequels, so often left behind are the amazing properties that practically ache for continuation. Edge of Tomorrow, True Lies, The Nice Guys and of course, Karl Urban’s masterful turn as the judge, jury and executioner himself, DREDD. Think of it as an Americanized version of Gareth Evans’ The Raid. Aside from basic story points, both operate under similar parameters. The villain, Lena Headey’s brilliant, sociopathic performance as Ma-Ma is a revelation all her own. Then there’s of course the man himself, Karl fucking Urban being the stoic, unyielding man of the law that he fully embodies is endlessly watchable. Its ultra violence and graphic novel feel make this an underappreciated gem in the cinematic wasteland. No offense to Mr. Stallone, but this is my kind of judge. “I am the law.” 


Perhaps his masterpiece, Steven Soderbergh breathes new life into the heist genre with the modern era’s rat pack equivalent, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Casey Affleck, Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner, Scott Caan, Elliot Gould and Shaobo Qin. And their villain? The dubious, mercilessly calculated Andy Garcia. This is a thrilling, effortlessly funny and endlessly entertaining heist joint. The rat pack kind of just hung around acting cool. And they were cool. But this takes the basic premise and makes it a shining stage for every character, cool in their own right, to have their moment of brilliance taking down the powers of Las Vegas greed and extravagance. If they can squeeze in a bit of revenge in the process, so be it. It just so happens to reside in my hometown as well which is nothing more than a small detail, but one I am quite proud of. The rewatchability is just part of its charm. The charisma? That’s all them. 


This is where I stretch the definition of “remake.” Sue me. More of a dramatic reinterpretation of a spoof comedy, Martin Campbell helms the ultimate return of the suavest spy to ever live, 007 himself, Bond, James Bond. This time, we had the privilege to watch the burgeoning Daniel Craig establish himself as one of the best (my favorite) Bonds ever. Even in the midst of a writer’s strike, Quantum of Solace still provided more than adequate scenes with Mr. Craig just being the gruff, merciless MI6 agent that we all know and love. But it started with Casino Royale, perhaps his best outing as the character complete with a harrowing poker game, a violently permanent stairwell fight and a return of the Aston Martin. How it ever became BMW I will never understand. This version of Bond is an interconnected character that is changed by each mission he takes, influencing the next time he dons a killer suit. (Get it? Killer… suit) The man that gets his first two kills in Casino Royale is not the same man that sacrifices everything for the girl of his dreams in No Time to Die. It’s a wonderful journey to watch him grow as a man and as an agent reluctantly reforming the conscience he once swore off when Vesper Lynd betrayed him. This is the beginning. This is Bond’s origin story.


That's it. For part 1 at least. Part two is either on the way or it's already here based on your understanding of space-time continuum. That's either a clever closer to this article or it's incredibly stupid. Eh, I'll leave it in. Whatever... I hope you enjoyed the first part of my list. Please come back for or go to part 2 immediately. At your own pace of course. No rush.

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